...Solitary...

past-midnight-emoness
dreamed alone at 12:46 a.m. on 2007-08-19

i love christine's blog because it says just what i myself feel. i want farewell parties too. i want to pack. i want to buy winter clothes. i want to be rushing around meeting people who are important to me, with the mantra 'last-chance-for-a-year' running through my head. i want a long-distance plane ticket with my name on it. i want a room booked for me in some unfamiliar place that i've never set eyes on before. i want the thrill that comes with new surroundings; an entirely novel experience. i want to cry big fat slobby tears at the airport saying goodbye. i want to have image heavy blog posts showing exotic places that the me-of-a-year-ago could only dream of going.

but i don't have any of that.

what i want most of all is to know that what i'm doing is the right thing.

and i know that it's never gonna be the same if i don't go now. no matter when. or where.