...Solitary...

a mass of confusion
dreamed alone at 2:52 p.m. on 2008-04-10

i just read the word "internalised" in a legal theory reading and immediately thought of mrkwok haha i misssss. who else would join a fan club for himself.

and so today marks the first day of official studying for me! very late but it's an accomplishment nonetheless. see joshua i told you i could do it! haha

anw im v excited cos i have found a FELLOW MUSICAL BUFF - HUILIIIII haha ONE DAY we will go to broadway and watch a musical for real there ok. and i promise not to fall asleep. haha.

moots are on monday cannot wait for them to be over haha opposing counsel has bribed me with chocolate banana cake hrmmm

sometimes i stumble on things that ring true in the strangest places. like, i just saw this because i randomly went to jotay's blog -
So. I can't be no. 1, in many things, in many places, for many people.

And frankly? I don't know how to deal with it.

neither do i. just suck it up and move on i suppose. mmm.

i've been so insanely moodswingy and hormonal this past week i'm v sorry if you've had to bear the brunt of it. i never meant to hurt.

in other news, i have been seeing h__ F_____ e_______ [HFE] around school alot and that is obviously cause for much celebration. BUT BUT BUT i saw HFE smoking one day and was terribly upset because well that just ruins everything doesn't it! haha no such thing as perfection SIGH

i realised last night that perhaps somewhere deep down inside there is a little bit of me that is a science student. i used to have this insatiable need to categorise things (it's not as bad now ok!) and put them exactly where they belong, with the exception of physical things, since i am like the messiest person around. but when it came to things in my head, i could NOT stand not knowing what went where. that sorta thing doesn't go away easily. either i'm your friend or i'm not. either i'm a best friend or i'm not. either i know it or i don't. either you mean something to me or you don't. and i actually had a hierarchy of people within my head. if you asked me who i would save if 2 people were drowning, i would probably have been able to give you an answer without much thought about it (and this is true because it happened before in one of those truth or dare games). it's quite frighteningly callous when i think about it now. mmm. so you know, it's not as bad now haha I USED TO BE WORSE. but i still canNOT stand being confused. so please don't do this to me i don't read signs well and soon after awhile i just stop trying.

and sometimes on really weird days i want my exboyfriend. but, you know, that's obviously just a passing fancy. hahahahahahahha. and if you ask me about this i probably wont explain it to you. nevermind i'm mad ignore me.

we will rock you later tonight! sexciting haha OK im going back to andrew phang and legal theory in the curriculum now byebye